The last five chapters make up the final section of the text, synthesizing the material that came before and addressing a number of obstacles that could occur within marriage. The second section comprises the next five chapters, each of which discuss one of the five love languages in detail and use examples of real couples to illustrate practical implications of theoretical principles. The first three chapters make up the introduction, laying out fundamentals.

The book is divided into three major sections. Just because you or your partner favor a particular love language does not mean that you should stop expressing the other love languages.Throughout The Five Love Languages, Chapman aims to answer a single question: “why is it that so few couples seem to have found the secret to keeping love alive after the wedding?” (14). Of course, the concept is also useful simply to express your love in the best possible way. In a long-standing relationship, it’s easy to get complacent and let things get stale. When you know your partner’s love language, it’s incredibly easy to reload, it’s like a cheat code for your relationship. When you realize what your partner is doing and they don’t care, you can empathize better. Your reasons for fighting make a little more sense, when you understand what you are fighting for, you are in a better position to find a solution.īeyond fighting less (or at least more productively), the concept of love languages is also ideal for maintaining the relationship. For example, I know we both feel affection for spending quality time together, so I know it’s important to schedule this time to keep our relationship strong. If we were ever in a long-distance relationship, we’d probably have to struggle with it quite a bit, and we’d have to try harder than people who don’t speak the language of “Quality Time.” How can this concept change your relationship? Chapman cautions in his book: “We are not talking about comfort, we are talking about love. Love is something we do for another person, couples love each other but they do not connect, they are sincere, but it is not enough. We must step out of our comfort zone to meet the emotional needs of others. However, speaking in your partner’s love language will probably not come naturally to you. Dr. Since you’ve probably been talking about what you need all along, you can discover your own love language by asking yourself these questions: You can probably relate to some of these, maybe you relate to all of them but most of us have one or two that are much more important to us than the others, and it is different for everyone. There really is no scientific research behind Chapman’s theory it just makes sense because it is relatable, it is obvious that we all show affection in different ways, these languages just label those ways so that you can understand people a little better.

The five love languages by gary chapman